Spaghetti!

We  had such an amazing turnout to the supper! I was absolutely blown away by the whole event. Great music, friends, family, good food and a real feeling of love and support. There were all kinds of raffle prizes won, and lots of familiar faces. The girls went with my brother and his girlfriend for the night so we could unwind.

I have learned a lot about myself lately. I have learned that this right now is all I need to worry about. I used to be afraid of everything. I had to sort of let go of the rest so I could focus on the kids. What good would it do to be afraid and freeze up when something bad happens and they need me the most? When people ask me how I can laugh, I tell them it's because I have to. As long as I stay kind and weird, things will be fine. I can handle it. It's when anxiety and depression kills my attitude that days feel longer, people seem cruel, things go wrong. 

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it hurts to  get out of bed. Especially when it's only the second day of school vacation and it's snowing and everyone's screaming at each other. We've already done the Kiwi crate the in-laws sent. We made new crayons out of old ones. We cleaned every room. We even tore all the old clothes we had out of the basement to donate to a local consignment shop owned by Cady's classmate's mother. About fifteen bags and five totes of clothes and shoes and other odds and ends.

I think we've just been in shock for the past month. Trying to get back into a routine and get things back to normal again. The new meds seem to be working as far as we can tell. It's hard to not be paranoid and think that something is wrong all the time. Every little sound or new fixation sets me scratching my head and then I'm up all night surfing the net for my own research.

We are headed down to MGH soon so both Cady and I can get genetic blood work done. We were hoping to go today but got hit with this pouring freezing rain. We'll try to make a day of it and go to the museum or a concert or something. 

She has been re-evaluated by the school board and has been approved for full PT/OT services through the school and even over the summer to prevent regression. An IEP has been put into motion to protect both the school and ourselves legally. This is awesome and awful news to us. She definitely needs it, but it's terrifying to think that she could potentially lose fine and gross motor skills. Whether gradually or quickly, we don't know for sure. 

We just make the best of it. Hopefully that's enough.