Her sister is feeling much better. She is no longer contagious and her fever has gone. We have arranged for her to visit later this afternoon. They might both feel a little better after seeing each other for a bit. The best medicine might be some sister time.
My niece and my brother's girlfriend are cleaning our house from top to bottom while we are away. I am always amazed at how compassionate people can be and it boosts my faith in humanity. Those who are truly there for you in your time of need are so important.
Do us a small favor. Mean every word you say, or don't say it. Do what you say you will do. Do not perpetuate false hopes. If you have no intention of helping, do not offer your assistance. If you want to know, ask. I am an open book right now.
I open my mouth and positivity comes out, but inside my head I am every emotion in existence. I am triggered by every beeping monitor, down to the blue-and-white tiles in this stupid room. My child is lying here in need and all I can do is sit here and listen to the sound of my heart breaking for all eternity.
I can't wait until this fucking nightmare is over and we can all go home.
(Written on 3-10-2018)
It took me until now to decide whether or not to post the section above. I figure, what the hell, it's raw emotion and if it's too much for someone out there to read then maybe they shouldn't read it. The weekend was a time for resting and visits from a few friends and family. She is doing a lot better now, she is moving and her sense of humor is back. She hasn't eaten much over the past week so she is sore and tired.
I am writing this while we are waiting for rounds. She is incredibly unsteady and at this time is unable to walk without assistance. She wants to walk to the toy room, and I keep telling her she needs to eat before she goes anywhere. So she ate a bowl of Fruit Loops with milk. The most shes eaten since Wednesday is a couple of lousy fruit cups and about eight pickles. Progress is slow, but it's still a baby step forward. The hospital has Ipads, so she is playing something silly while she gets movement back into her hands. She couldn't make a fist or complete a motor dexterity test as recently as yesterday (ie. touch thumb to each finger). Little victories.
Addy is at school today. I can't imagine how she is feeling. During her visits this weekend, she seemed energetic and cheerful. In contrast with Cady's aloof, borderline hostile mood, it was a welcome distraction. Cady misses her sister, but doesn't want to show her how frightened she is.
We are all terrified. This could potentially become fatal one of these days. Sure, we'll make it out of this one, but what about the next one? Or the one after that? The thing that I wish people would understand is the simple truth that she could DIE. There is no way of knowing when, or even how, but it could very well happen. Let that sink in. Adjust your fucking priorities and let that sizzle in your brain box for a minute. Then we'll talk.
(Written on 3-10-2018)
It took me until now to decide whether or not to post the section above. I figure, what the hell, it's raw emotion and if it's too much for someone out there to read then maybe they shouldn't read it. The weekend was a time for resting and visits from a few friends and family. She is doing a lot better now, she is moving and her sense of humor is back. She hasn't eaten much over the past week so she is sore and tired.
I am writing this while we are waiting for rounds. She is incredibly unsteady and at this time is unable to walk without assistance. She wants to walk to the toy room, and I keep telling her she needs to eat before she goes anywhere. So she ate a bowl of Fruit Loops with milk. The most shes eaten since Wednesday is a couple of lousy fruit cups and about eight pickles. Progress is slow, but it's still a baby step forward. The hospital has Ipads, so she is playing something silly while she gets movement back into her hands. She couldn't make a fist or complete a motor dexterity test as recently as yesterday (ie. touch thumb to each finger). Little victories.
Addy is at school today. I can't imagine how she is feeling. During her visits this weekend, she seemed energetic and cheerful. In contrast with Cady's aloof, borderline hostile mood, it was a welcome distraction. Cady misses her sister, but doesn't want to show her how frightened she is.
We are all terrified. This could potentially become fatal one of these days. Sure, we'll make it out of this one, but what about the next one? Or the one after that? The thing that I wish people would understand is the simple truth that she could DIE. There is no way of knowing when, or even how, but it could very well happen. Let that sink in. Adjust your fucking priorities and let that sizzle in your brain box for a minute. Then we'll talk.
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